Topic: Marriage
Be B-E-S-T F-R-I-E-N-D-S.
Marry your best friend and work to stay best friends. Best friends have lots in common and like to do many similar things. Yes, you can have separate hobbies, but make sure there's a common ground of many shared hobbies, likes, dislikes and experiences. Don't be like ships passing the night.You must have shared goals and dreams.
Life is so much easier if you're going in the same direction. Have you ever made a "Life's Plan" together? It's like mapping out a road trip, except the hotel turns out to be your house and there's no room service. We did this when we were engaged in 1980 and have just about accomplished every goal from a list of about 25 to 30 life goals.
It's a cliche, but it's true. Harboring resentments against your spouse is like cutting off your own nose to spite your face.
Try to find something positive about your spouse, instead of harping on bad traits. Say "I love you" everyday. What's the first thing people say when they lose a loved one? "I wish I could have told him that I loved him one last time."
Work really hard at understanding each other. Men are not as good as women at verbalizing what is going on with themselves emotionally. Women need to work a little harder at deciphering what men really mean when they're upset. For instance, if you're husband is flipping out because he can't find the remote control and it seems excessive, it usually means there is something else going on, like a problem at work and then you have to pry out of them what the REAL problem is. But other times, they are just flipping out because they can't find the remote. ;)
Regular mathematics do NOT apply in marriage. Two halves do not become a "whole". Two wholes become a whole. It only works when 100% of you gives 100% to him/her. If you're giving 50%, you're only giving half of yourself. It's like that 'new math 'you don't understand... That, and 1 + 1 = 5.
Just like the old saying goes:
"A man who marries his mistress creates a vacancy in the position"
For sanity's sake!!! (We have 3 kids.)
Nobody likes a nag. Nag is a bad word, it rhymes with Hag, Rag and Bag.
"The best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother."
Raising children takes total teamwork. Especially if they out number you! We have 4 hands between us, our kids together have 6... It's a juggling game. Especially when they are young and you're out in public.
Don't waste precious years with the mistaken belief that you can "change" or "save" anyone. You can't change anyone. Deal with that now. How easy is it to change bad habits you don't like about yourself? The best you can do is live and be that example you want wish for them to be.
MUTUAL Respect. Where's Aretha when you need her?
Getting married is easy. It's fun, it's a big party!
Staying married.....now that's another matter!Selfishness has no place in marriage. Marriage means "one" & "union". There will be days when you get what you want and there will be days that you won't.
Patience takes years to learn. Especially with all the stresses of living in our times. Being married and raising a family takes an enormous amount of energy. The first two years are critical and most marriages breakup during in this period. Young couples haven't yet figured out how to share themselves and be accountable to other people.Life is best enjoyed in the present, lived moment by moment, day by day. Compromise, Give and Take, Ebb and Flow. Some days are horrible and irritating, some are beautiful and nearly perfect, some eventful, uneventful. If today wasn't so hot, look forward to tomorrow. Everything looks different the next day. Don't make your lives a 'tug of war'. Learn to live your lives in step with each other. And be sure to find the fun and mirth and joy and laughter.
After all, it's your life, you might as well enjoy it!!!
Special Thanks to Robins Web for these tips
http://www.robinsweb.com/
